Agamemnon’s Tent of Booty-Loot
AGAMEMNON: I am the King of Kings. PH34R!
ACHILLES: Yeah, the way you stormed that temple with fifty men and killed everyone by your lonesome was particularly impressive.
AGAMEMNON: STFU, NOOB. Oh, by the way, I took your temple babe.
Enter Greek soldiers struggling with a bruised and bloody Briseis. Alliteration is awesome!
ACHILLES: Give her back or I CUT YOU.
BRISEIS: Fuck you and the ships you sailed in on!
AGAMEMNON: *smirk*
EUDORUS: You realize that you could crack this guy’s head open like a walnut and be done with it, right?
ACHILLES: Yeah, but... then we wouldn’t have a movie. I fight for you again when Hades freezes over, assholes.
*
Some Rock Beside the Battlefield
EUDORUS: More popcorn, lord?
ACHILLES: Thanks, man.
PATROCLUS: But I wanna go fiiiiiiight!
ACHILLES: Shut up and drink your Slurpee, kid.
THE MYRMIDONS: *sit on the rock and watch the war*
ACHILLES: Huh. Look at that. All the Greeks are running right up to the city wall so the Trojan archers can shoot them down. How considerate of them.
EUDORUS: More popcorn, lord?
ACHILLES: Thanks, man.
PATROCLUS: But I wanna go fiiiiiiight!
ACHILLES: Shut up and drink your Slurpee, kid.
THE MYRMIDONS: *sit on the rock and watch the war*
ACHILLES: Huh. Look at that. All the Greeks are running right up to the city wall so the Trojan archers can shoot them down. How considerate of them.
O maravilho guião, na íntegra, aqui.
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